I’m 29 years old. On the surface, my life looks perfect. I have a college degree, a high-paying career, and I’m engaged to the woman I love. I should be celebrating the happiest moments of my life—planning my wedding, celebrating my promotions, and looking forward to a bright future. Instead, I’m trapped in the grip of gambling addiction.

The Hidden Struggle: A Decade of Destruction

For the past decade, I’ve battled gambling addiction. It began innocently with some sports betting and occasional trips to the casino, but over time, it grew uncontrollable. I estimate I’ve lost over $500,000, and each loss only deepened my dependence. This addiction has consumed my life, leaving me with nothing but debt and regret. The damage didn’t occur overnight—it’s been a slow, devastating process.

Though my life may seem successful on the outside, gambling has dominated my thoughts. I spent countless hours placing bets on sports and random events, staying up all night watching games. Gambling addiction became an obsession, causing me to neglect my career and my relationship.

The Spiral: Losing Control and Destroying My Relationships

Over the past year, things have worsened. I’ve ruined my credit by taking out high-interest loans that I can’t repay. My paycheck is often gone within days, and I’ve had to borrow money from my fiancée, parents, and friends. Despite promising to pay them back, the cycle repeats. The guilt is overwhelming, yet the need to gamble is stronger.

Breaking free has been a constant struggle. I’ve self-excluded from nearly every sports book in my state, even from VIP-hosted sites. Yet, whenever a new one pops up, I sign up again. It’s a vicious cycle that seems impossible to escape.

The Financial Burden and Emotional Toll

Reached my lowest point. I gambled away my last paycheck, and now, I won’t get paid for weeks. The state is taking $900 from each paycheck for the next two months to pay off my debts. I have a wedding bill due soon, but I can’t cover it. My credit cards are maxed out, and I’ve had to ask for more help. It feels like a nightmare I can’t escape.

Every day feels like a struggle. There have been times when I thought about ending my life. This isn’t something I say lightly—it’s a feeling I genuinely experience. If it weren’t for my fiancée and my cats, I might not be here right now. They’re the only things keeping me from giving up completely. But I’m exhausted. I’m tired of the lies, the endless cycle of gambling, and the pain I cause those I love.

The Desperation to Stop and the Pain of Failing

Don’t know if I’ll ever recover from this addiction, both financially and mentally. I try to stop, but I fail every time. Tonight, I’ll have to tell my fiancée once again that I’ve gambled away all my money. I’ll face her disappointment and pain, knowing I’ve failed her again.

A Warning: Gambling Can Take Everything

If you’re reading this and it resonates with you, please understand that gambling addiction can rob you of everything that matters. It can take away your relationships, your financial stability, and your sense of self-worth. Gambling doesn’t just affect you—it affects everyone around you. It destroys lives. If you don’t find a way out, it can kill you. If you can’t gamble responsibly, quit now before it takes everything.

I’m not asking for pity. I’m sharing my story in the hope that someone, anyone, can learn from my mistakes. I’m still here because I haven’t given up on myself completely, but I’m running out of time. Please get help before it’s too late. Gambling addiction thrives on your despair, but there is hope for recovery if you take the first step. I wish I had taken it sooner.