It all began in November 2024 when I made my first bet: 700 AED on roulette. At first, it seemed like a harmless way to pass the time. But what followed wasn’t just a game—it was the start of a dangerous spiral. I ended up losing 5,000 AED, all spent on roulette, a game that I quickly became obsessed with. I kept thinking to myself that just one more bet could turn everything around. But as the losses piled up, so did the regrets.

Gambling Addiction: The Rush That Ruins

Gambling addiction is often defined as an uncontrollable urge to gamble despite the negative consequences. It’s a mental health issue that affects many, and I was no exception. According to the DSM-5, gambling addiction is considered a behavioral addiction, similar to drug addiction or alcohol addiction. For me, it started out as a fun distraction, but soon it became a way to escape reality. I became a “rage gambler,” chasing losses instead of recognizing when to stop.

At some point, the excitement and the rush of gambling overpowered my rational thinking. Every time I lost, I believed I could win it back, but that belief was nothing more than a fantasy. The emotional toll was hard to ignore—my confidence plummeted, and the money I had once saved for a better future was now gone.

The Destructive Cycle of Chasing Losses

Gambling addiction leads you down a dangerous path, often marked by chasing losses. This is when you continue gambling in an attempt to win back what you’ve lost. It’s a trap, and it’s one that I fell into. If I had only stopped after the first loss, I might still have had my savings and investments intact. Instead, I let my emotions take control, and I became consumed by the need to “win it all back.”

I fantasized about winning back the 5,000 AED I lost, but deep down, I knew that even if I did win something back, it was just a reflection of the losses I had incurred. No amount of gambling would return me to the point where I started. It wasn’t about winning anymore—it was about trying to repair the damage, but that was impossible. Gambling addiction is never a path to recovery unless you first acknowledge that you’ve already lost more than you ever gained.

Why Moderation Was Never an Option

As I reflect on my journey, I realize that I didn’t have the will for moderation. The problem with gambling addiction is that it doesn’t allow for “moderation.” You’re either in it, completely consumed by it, or you’re out. For someone like me—someone who is all-or-nothing—it was always going to be one or the other. And unfortunately, I was too deep in the addiction to stop myself.

Recovery: The Road to Freedom

It’s been two months since I last gambled, and though the urge to gamble still lingers at times, I know that staying clean is my only way forward. Gambling addiction recovery is possible, but it requires acknowledging the damage and making the conscious decision to stay away from the triggers. As difficult as it is, I’m trying to focus on what I’ve learned from this experience and not look back with regret.

If you’re reading this and you’re in a similar situation, remember: You’ve already won by choosing to walk away. It may not feel like it now, but staying clean is the biggest victory you can achieve. Recognize that the money you’ve lost doesn’t define you—what matters now is your commitment to never returning to the casino or betting site. Recovery starts with a single decision, and that decision can lead to a life without the constant anxiety of chasing losses.

The Aftermath: Everything Feels More Expensive

Since quitting, I’ve noticed that every purchase I make feels more expensive. I’ve grown more aware of how I spend my money, something I never thought twice about before I became addicted to gambling. But now, each decision is an opportunity to rebuild what was lost, one thoughtful step at a time. Gambling addiction may have taken a lot from me, but it’s also given me the chance to reclaim control over my life.

Stay clean, folks. You’ve already won.